How Good Is Your Romantic Relationship?
Do you sometimes wonder how strong your relationship really is?
Are the challenges you face normal, or is it time to work on them more seriously?
Maybe things feel confusing or even hopeless right now — and you’d like some clarity.
Based on thousands of hours of couples’ consultations, I’ve created a simple self-check for your relationship.
You can complete it alone — or, even better, invite your partner to do it as well. Then you can compare your results and discuss them together.
This questionnaire highlights your relationship’s strengths and shows where there’s room for improvement.
👉 To get started:
Download the test by clicking on the left side, then print it out (one page, PDF format).
How to Fill Out the Questionnaire
It might look a bit complicated at first, but it’s actually quite simple.
Let’s walk through it step by step.
The questionnaire has four columns (A–D). Here’s how to fill them in:
Column A — Your Own Evaluation
Start here.
Take a brief moment to reflect on how happy and satisfied you currently feel in your relationship with each of the 13 topics.
Then choose a number from 0 to 10 that best represents your feelings.
Use the full scale if you can.
Examples:
10 – This aspect of the relationship is perfect. You’re completely happy and satisfied.
6 – It’s not perfect, but it’s okay for now.
3 – This area needs improvement. You’re rather dissatisfied.
0 – You’re not happy at all. This issue feels unacceptable or unresolved.
Column D — Your Guess About Your Partner
Next, fill in the last column, D.
Here, try to imagine how your partner would rate each topic.
What number do you think they would choose?
If your partner is also doing the questionnaire, have them fill out their own copy separately.
They’ll complete columns A and D the same way you did.
Columns B and C — Comparing Results
Once you both finish, transfer your partner’s answers:
Copy their Column A values into your Column B.
Copy their Column D values into your Column C.
That’s it — you’re done! 😊
How to Evaluate the Questionnaire
No relationship is strong in every single area.
Each partnership has its own mix of strengths and challenges — and that’s completely normal.
Some relationships feel more passionate, while others are calm and steady.
Some are supportive and nurturing, while others are stimulating and challenging.
One couple might enjoy closeness and togetherness, while another values freedom and space.
What matters is knowing your strong sides and recognizing the areas that need more attention or growth.
How Satisfied Are You with Your Relationship?
Start by looking at your own scores in Column A.
8–10: These are your strengths — the solid foundations and resources of your relationship.
5–7: Things are generally good, though there’s room for gradual improvement. Nothing urgent here.
2–4: These areas need attention. They may be causing tension or dissatisfaction.
0–1: These point to crucial problems that likely require serious discussion or change.
How Close Are You and Your Partner?
If your partner also completed the questionnaire, compare your Column A with their Column C (your guesses about each other).
A difference of 2–3 points is quite normal.
Larger differences suggest that you might see your relationship in different ways — which can be an opportunity for understanding and growth.
Ask yourselves:
Why do we see this topic differently?
Do we have different values or expectations here?
How can we improve the situation for the one who feels less satisfied?
Discussing these points openly can strengthen your emotional connection and help you meet each other’s needs more effectively.
How Well Do You Know Each Other?
Finally, check how well you understand your partner’s inner world.
Compare:
Your Column A (your self-ratings) with their Column B (how they rated themselves).
Your Column D (your guesses about them) with their Column C (their guesses about you).
If there are big gaps between the actual scores and your guesses, it may mean there’s a communication gap — you might not fully understand how your partner feels about certain areas.
This doesn’t mean your relationship is failing; it just shows that you may need more time, openness, or better communication skills to connect more deeply.
What Can You Do with the Results?
If you’re not satisfied with the results, take some time to talk openly with your partner.
Communication is the most powerful tool for improving your relationship — share your feelings, values, and needs with honesty and care.
Large differences in how you and your partner rated certain topics suggest that there may be challenges in your communication. You might not fully understand each other’s perspectives or sometimes talk past one another. Recognizing this is already an important step toward better connection.
If several topics fall into the very low range (0–2), this is a critical sign and a potential threat to your relationship. Consider seeking professional support — and feel free to bring this questionnaire to your session. Couples therapy can help you gain clarity, see things from a new perspective, and move forward together.
If your relationship simply needs some care, or if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me!
Couples therapy helps to gain clarity and a new perspective and get moving. If your relationship needs maintenance or you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me!